"Where to Buy Olives in Lacombe" or "How Olive Came to Salazar Manor"

On February 4, 2010 Luis drove out to Lacombe, Alberta to meet Geri J. and her daughter Sarah to buy Olive from them. Olive is a baby three-toed box turtle. Olive was in need of a new home after Geri and her family had to move from Lacombe and couldn’t bring Olive with them. Olive belonged to Geri’s daughter Nikki. Nikki, Luis was informed, celebrated her tenth birthday this day. Nikki was sad to let Olive go.

Geri and Luis decided to meet in Lacombe at 10 p.m. Luis’ wacky Kung-fu schedule makes it hard for him to meet people at normal times of the evening. He sometimes goes out at night donning a velvet black cloak lined in purple silk just because really, only vampires go out as late as he does. This costume only puts him on par with the rest of the nightlife. Anyhow, Luis left the house at 8:30 p.m. and had a safe drive out despite the thick, cold fog and the icy roads. As he was about to reach Lacomb; however, he missed the turnoff and continued straight south towards Red Deer. Ai-ai-ai! He panicked. He was going to be late. He dislikes being late for people. If you’ve ever been as far north as even central Alberta then you know how dark it gets here in the middle of winter and boy it was pitch black outside with no street lights out this far into the Queens’ Highway and little traffic to offer the occasional spot of light. In all that darkness (even with his vampire vision) Luis could not find a turnoff to 180-it north and back to rendezvous with Geri and Sarah. Luis slowed right down to 60 km/hr and turned on his hazards while driving bumpity-bump on the washboards in hopes of catching a turnoff at slower speeds. Even at that speed he managed to drive past two (good grief, man!) and after about 10 kilometers he was sweating. Suddenly traffic picked up and Luis was afraid he’d get rear-ended. That would really bite the peanut. He kept muttering to himself, “It’s all worth it… it’s all worth it.” Ha-ha! But then he saw it: the u-turn exit. Metal to the pedal and off he went back towards Lacombe. Hot dog!

Up ahead was the turnoff to Bentley and another to Lacombe/Stettler. He took the second turnoff and drove on confident that he would soon be meeting Geri and Sarah. In the space of two minutes he began to feel that funny feeling you get when someone caresses the back of your neck backwards and all your pin feathers poke you in the back of the neck. There was something amiss. Where was the town? There was no civilization anywhere unless you include cows and everyone knows cows don’t have fingers and stuff us civilized critters do. Lacombe was supposed to be two kilometers off the highway. Darn! Then Dani called.

“How’s it going?”
“I missed the turnoff and I think I am heading towards Bentley.”
“Wait, let me get the computer and I will tell you where you are… have you driven past Gull Lake?”
“I think so…”
“Oops! I think you are going the wrong way.”
“Rats! I am going to turn around. Wait just a sec I am going to put the phone down… okay, I think I am going the right way now.”
“I’ll let you go so that you may drive.”
“Thanks honey. I will call you once I have the dude.”
“Okay, love you.”
“Love you too. Thanks.”

Off he went relieved to be driving off in the right direction. Then the phone rang again.

“Hi Luis. Where are you?’
“I missed the turnoff, Geri and I went to Bentley but I am on my way back to Lacombe now.”
“Okay, I am at Zig-Zag Gas Station in a blue S.U.V.”
“Great! I’ll be there soon.”

Compare the plastrons of Olive and Texas at around the same age.

Luis raced off and seven minutes later pulled into the gas station where Geri and Sarah were patiently waiting for him. Luis waved as he put the car into park and the girls stepped out. They all shook hands and Geri handed Luis Olive. Olive was deeply buried in a Tupperware dish 5 inches in diameter and 1 inch deep.

“Wow,” Luis said. “She sure is small.”
“Yes she is,” Geri replied. “Would you like to see her?”
“No thank-you,” Luis said. “Lets keep her in my jacket where she’ll be warm.”
“Good idea,” Geri said. “Here are her supplies,” Geri continued. “There’s liquid vitamins, powdered calcium, worms- she loves these- a couple of bath dishes, some moss, and some coconut bark.”
“She loves hiding in the moss,” Sarah added. “She’ll hide in it all day.”
“He knows that honey,” Geri said. “He has experience with box turtles.”
“That’s okay. I don’t mind hearing,” Luis reassured Sarah who remained quite still and now also quiet. “It’s $240.00, right,” Luis asked pulling out a fist-full of twenties.
“No,” Geri replied, “we agreed on $230.00.”
“Oh, okay. I guess I will need some change then.”
“I’ll get it. I’ll just go inside and get some.”
Geri walked into the Zig-Zag and disappeared into the warm light of the restaurant as Luis turned his attention to the smiling Sarah.
“So where’s Nikki?”
“It’s her birthday today so she’s at home.”
“Oh, how old is she turning?”
“She’s ten.”
“Did she have a good day?”
“Yes, she did.”
“So you haven’t had Olive for too long?”
“No, not really.”
“She sure is small. Where did you buy her?”
“A store in Calgary: Pisces Pet Emporium.”
“Oh, never heard of it.” (Isn’t that where you found Texas, Luis? Duh!) Geri returned with the change.
“Here you are.”
“Well thank you.”
“No, thank you. We are glad that Olive is going to a good home. I told Nikki that her new owner had experience with this kind of turtle and that Olive was going to be well taken care of.”
“Oh, she will be,” Luis said.
“We should get going,” Geri said.
“Okay, well thank you again for meeting me in Lacombe and again, thank you for Olive and please wish Nikki a happy birthday for me.”
“I will, thank you.”

Luis and Geri shook hands they drove away. Luis rushed back to his car. He couldn’t wait to see Olive. There she was- fast asleep and hardly bigger than a loonie. Luis placed the Tupperware dish on a comfortable spot on the passenger’s chair and drove back home to Edmonton. On the highway he called Dani some 100 kilometers from home to tell her the good news. Once home Luis introduced Olive to Dani. Olive got a bath and a soak and was given a larger Tupperware container to sleep in. That night I dreamt of Baby Degzar chasing after Olive and for some reason Baby Degzar kept calling her Oliver.

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Olive Meets Zoë

Here we are: at the meeting spot for tortoises. When Olive met Zoë the Manor was abuzzin' with anticipation. Now if we can only get Olive to stay awake longer than ten minutes at a time we may get some hobnobbing. Why do tortoises hibernate anyway? Strange stuff. More on that later but for now two more photos of the new kid on the Manor-block!

In the Land of Olive

Here is a sneak preview of the newest critter to enter the coolest pet-dome of fun. Everyone give a warm applause to "Olive": our new bunk mate. Olive is a three-toed box turtle. She is around two months old and is quickly becoming the star attraction at Salazar Manor.

The date stamp on the first picture is all wrong kids! It is certainly not January 1, 1987 now is it? Oops! Looks like Luis forgot to change the date stamp on his old Polaroid Spectra Pro again.

Luis has a bunch more pictures to post of Olive so come back soon for more pictures of Olive hanging out with Zoë and Texas. Can't wait to see you!

Love Your Pet: Living with Anxiety Induced Displacement Disorder

If you remember my entry way back on April 20, 2006 I wrote the story of how Ready and Sarah came to be our favorite pals from Africa. I wrote about all the squeaking and the clamour and the beautiful yellow crest on Sarah's little head. I also briefly made a comment about Ready's pants- his Bermuda shorts! Well, sometime later, on August 27, 2006 I posted a short fim in which two parrots give an interview about the importance of creature comforts. These stories are interrelated and they refer to an important issue in avian care. This issue is often referred to in its most general terminology as Displacement Disorder. Displacement Disorder occurs when an emotion/desire/impulse/compulsion is not played out in its most immediate situation and is instead repressed and released in another situation. The inability to express yourself at any given moment (especially over issues that are of importance to you) may lead to anxiety. This anxiety is then released else where and often manifests as anger and hostility. This is Displacement Disorder.

Animals often experience Displacement Disorder. In the case of birds the start of Displacement Disorder can be traced all the way back to the day a wild animal is captured, placed in a cage and shipped to a pet store. An animal who has lived free all of its life and whose instincts can be traced over 200 million years through its theropod lineage; is suddenly incarcerated and forced into a life of nothing more than temporary amusement will in many cases begin to display anxious behavior.

Ready in August of 2004- not long after coming to stay with us.

Of course every case is unique and in Ready's case we have all seen some special circumstances, outbreaks and an interesting solution. Ready and Sarah were rejected by their original owner (a local parrot breeder) because Ready had bitten (in some cases viciously and mortally) some of his aviary mates and chicks. The first problem anyone could name was a strong sense of territoriality. As a backdrop lets say that all parrots are territorial. We need space to grow, to feed and to raise our young. We all protect our little white picket canopies. It's Nature's way and it ensures the survival of the species. In the wild if an intruder arrives we peck and hiss and he will usually go away. If the home maker loses out he simply flies off and starts anew somewhere near by. No big deal really. I mean, no one gets mutilated or killed. But what happens when you have an above average territorial instinct or you happen to be an Alpha Personality altogether? Top that with being cooped up in a small room packed with other parrots who not only intrude on your space constantly but also simply do not go away after the hissing and pecking??? Well things can sometimes get real mean! This is what got Ready into trouble at the breeder's place. Those other parrots simply would not disappear. The dude was just protecting his space and his family. It got him a bad rap jiffy quick and off went the call for an adoptive family.

When Ready and Sarah came to Salazar Manor the first thing that struck me about him was the fact that he was almost completely naked from the neck down. Feather plucking is a symptom of Displacement Disorder. It is considered a form of self-mutilation and the last step before flesh biting and blood letting. Ready has never bitten himself but he has certainly removed a lot of feathers. Chewing and plucking are terrible behaviors to witness. There is little that can be done once a parrot starts chewing and plucking. Theories on the root causes for this behavior extend beyond Displacement Disorder. For instance, some people (vets included) theorize that some birds actually enjoy the taste of the trace minerals found at the wick end of the feathers and pluck for the taste of these minerals. Furthermore, in some cases the reason could be medical: bacterial disease and external parasites, allergies to foods, obesity, thyroid problems; nutritional: lack of calcium and other minerals, proteins, fatty acids, etc.; environmental: dry air causes dry skin, allergies caused by airborne pollutants; habitat: over-populated living space, lack of adequate nesting sites (these can lead to sexual frustration as some parrots will not mate unless they are comfortable with a nesting site); situational: some parrots react adversely to having their flight feathers clipped too short too early in life.

There are more reasons but the literature is saturated with these the most common ones.

Luis noticed that Ready began to act territorially right away. He still bites intruders in his room whenever he is out of his cage and whenever someone gets too close to his cage or happens to get caught between him and the bathtub. Ouch! Then there is the fact that he and Sarah are constantly on the look out for a nesting site. Their nibbling behavior has cost Luis and Danielle several books, some moulding and some furniture. I guess they are looking for a good tree trunk to carve out. I wouldn't know- I build nests myself. Ready has some favorite spots he has scouted out for raising little critters. Dani won't have any of it so Luis is constantly luring him out of his favorite spots whenever Luis finds him guarding one fiercely. Although Ready's Alpha Male ego gets the best of him he is a big softy at heart. He loves being petted and having his head scratched. And lets face it- of the Salazar Manor bunch he is the most photogenic. He simply loves the attention. What happens when he doesn't get it? Well, let me tell you that he whistles and squeaks at the top of his wee lungs until we all just leave or he is settled, cage and all, into the other room. Hey, I'm a parrot and yet I myself can not tolerate the vocalizations of this dude. Man alive! It hurts.

Ready in March of 2005.

Luis tried some simple methods of dealing with some of his acting out as best he could. The territory thing? Well, the best you can do is stay out of his way. We all deserve our space. Here at Salazar Manor we all live by this little rule and Luis and Dani are generous in this respect. The baby business is a no-no as Luis will simply not be able to sell the chicks and the Salazar Manor will grow and grow until Dani bursts and moves to Calgary. So no luvin' allowed. The attention issue was under control until Ready bit Luis through the lip, the hand and recently trapped Dani in the bathroom and bit her foot twice. Ouch! Ready gets little one on one time because he is unpredictable. Luis figured that lack of attention was one of the main reasons for his feather plucking so about a year ago he took Ready to the vet to see if the vet could suggest methods to sooth Ready's behavior. The first vet suggested something called Haloperidol. The vet simply said that it would calm him down and that this would curb his aggressive behavior. Sure enough, within a week Ready was cool as a cucumber. Luis served it to him on a cracker. Ready was soon just sitting there on his perch doing nothing at all. Luis was delighted at first- no shrieking, no chasing toes, no biting lips. But something was off. In high school Luis had a friend who was diagnosed bi-polar and Zoloft had the same effect on his friend. This was not cool...

One day, Isidro came by with Maguey and Luis told him about this new medication Ready was on. It was working Luis said but admitted that the results were a little too extreme. Ready was no longer Ready- he was acting more like a pillow on a sofa: just sitting there all inanimate. Isidro asked what he was on and when he heard that it was haloperidol Isidro (who is a nurse) jumped up and said, "hey, isn't that an anti-psychotic?"

Ready in May of 2007- check out all of the feathers!

Ready was pulled off the stuff that very day and within a few more days he was back to chasing toes and squeaking at the top of his lungs. So Luis went to a different vet. This time blood work was done (it found no diseases or other medical problems other than a slight protein deficiency- this was looked after with his diet), a visual skin test was done and found no signs of parasites, irritation or excessive dryness. The haloperidol was pulled form the regime and It was suggested to Luis that he try keeping Ready busy with things that would occupy a parrot in the wild. The big one being food collection. How do we make it a wee bit tougher for the dude to access his food? Well this one didn't do the trick. Parrots don't eat all day non-stop, you know? We eat two big meals and only sporadically in between. So there is lots of time in between to get bored and find trouble. Luis continued to pet Ready and talk to him and take his picture. Ready and Sarah, however were spending more and more time locked up as they had started to destroy Luis' books whenever Luis was away. Ready had nibbled at the linoleum in the bathroom and Sarah was busy munching away at the moulding around the window. "What was next," Luis confided? His camera collection? Holy wet turkey feathers!!! Not the cameras! As a last resort Luis purchased a pet Elizabethan collar. That was a total disaster. Yeah, nice one Luis. How would you like to wear handcuffs around your neck, buddy? Ready chewed the lining right off and within half an hour had managed to gnaw it to a sharp serrated edge. This then dug into Ready's neck and at the first sight of blood Luis jumped Ready and pulled the collar off. Luis was shaking from the horror and Ready was scared out of his wee wits. Poor guy. With no other resort at hand the African duo was confined to the cage five out of seven days. And then it happened: Ready stopped plucking. His chest feathers are almost all out and his flight feathers are growing strong and long. He looks great! Luis thinks it was the regular schedule that keeps him mellow. Spending time outside of the cage actually stressed him out. It spurred his territorialism, it drove his desire to mate and created chaos in his need for regular scheduling. Of course this doesn't answer everything and there is no way of telling whether or not we will all wake up tomorrow to find him down to his Bermudas again. For the mean time he looks as handsome as any other Meyer's Parrot.

Ready is the least understood of us all. He is also the most cared for and the one dude that attracts the most curiosity from visitors. Ready is a victim of a relentless and careless pet trade. We are all happy to have him and Sarah here at the Salazar Manor Petting Zoo. Here's hoping you remain feathered and plucky, Ready!

Ready in May of 2007- coy and handsome.

Step up!

Further on-line reading:
Avianwelfare.org
birdtoyoutlet.com
Avianwelfare.org
MAARS.org
ASAH.net
RutlandVet.com
RealMacaw.com
Wikipedia.org
2ndChance.info

Love Your Pet: Ready and Anxiety (Induced) Displacement Disorder

If you remember my entry way back on April 20, 2006 I wrote the story of how Ready and Sarah came to be our favorite pals from Africa. I wrote about all the squeaking and the clamour and the beautiful yellow crest on Sarah's little head. I also briefly made a comment about Ready's pants- his Bermuda shorts! Well, sometime later on August 27, 2006 I posted a short fim in which two parrots give an interview about the importance of creature comforts.

We Have a Winner

Congratulations to Brian for being the first to reply with the correct answer to our giveaway extravaganza. Brian (and Leo) will be receiving a collection of three embroidered emblems from Kiwi and Friends.

Stay tuned for more fabulous giveaways coming your way from Kiwi and Friends.


The sign reads:

KIWI's House

No
Parking

Unless you have
Treats, Toys, Bottle
Caps, and/or a copy
of "Paulie" in your
Knapsack.

Giveaway Extravaganza, Kids!!!

It's time for my first ever Kiwi and Friends giveaway kids!

Kiwi and Friends is giving away the above three embroidered name tags to the first fan who can correctly answer the following question:

Last summer I posted an interactive panorama of my house on my blog. In fron of my house is a white street sign with red lettering. This red lettering hides a secret message that only keen boys and girls can decipher. Can you tell me what the sign says?

Write me an e-mail with the entire message as it is written on the sign and I will send you these three beautiful souvenirs from Kiwi and Friends! The first reader with the correct answer wins!!!

The emblems measure 9.5cm by 4cm. They are machine embroidered in beautiful colors. I will ship them anywhere in the world. All I ask is that you allow me to post your name on my Blog so that everyone can hear of the winner.

Thanks and good luck.

Step up!

Last of the Great Boarders

  

Sandy and Olivia came and stayed with us for three nights this past week. We watched a lot of SpongeBob SquarePants and ate lots of candy. Sandy and Olivia slept in the guest room while Luis snoozed all alone with only wee sheep to keep him company.

Luis cooked a meal for the first time in nearly 10 years on account that Olivia was very hungry after school on Thursday. Chicken (BLAH!), fetuccini and french fries were on the menu. I didn't get any 'cause I don't eat other birds!!! Later they all shared a delicious piece of banana cake Luis' friend Jessa mailed him from Vancouver. Luis said it was the best he had ever had. I couldn't have any because I am allergic to walnuts. Nuts!!!


Texas was the charm of the day and the kids got to watch Texas devour a meal worm and they all had their picture taken with Texas and Zoë.

I will post more pictures later.

Step up!!!

Gettin' Sacked

Ta-dumm! So looking at the bright side of getting fired, Luis is soon to be without a job and soon without a good reason not to take dictation and help me write this BLOG. Always looking at the bright side of life kids. Lets hope Luis can find a job soon so that I can continue getting my treats!

Elysian Fields and Zoë

  

Last summer we received a delightful visit from Dani and Lou’s niece and nephew: Olivia and Sandy. They brought over their p-jays, their homework and a critter named Hedgey. We played board games, read stories, watched “The Nightmare Before Christmas”, “Lemony Snicket’s: A Series of Unfortunate Events”, and read stories from fabulous kids books. Fair- the best of all was hanging out with Zoë. Zoë doesn’t say much, doesn’t do much and doesn’t make much of anything either. Zoë’s charm is her patience and resolution. Plus, Zoë likes children for more than their chewy little chubby digits. Zoë serves up a lot of attention for all who stop and pay her visits. All she asks for in return is some food and a bath. Having received her gold obol Zoë then settles into amusing her adoring guests. The best of guests are invited to play with Zoë in her Elysian Fields.

  

Olivia, Sandy and Hedgey were such guests on that particular summer day. You may think that it was Olivia and Sandy who had the best of times watching Zoë crawl about, munch about and sneak about; in fact it was Hedgey who had the most fun of all. Hedgey, being of small stature and stuffed with fluff got to ride about on Zoë’s carapace. Fun, fun, fun! Watch Hedgey do this… watch Hedgey fall off like this… watch Hedgey hug like this… etc, etc. Hedgey was all over the place. Zoë meanwhile partook of the yummies in the Fields- dandelions, crab grass and clover. Zoë and Hedgey were hounded by the junior paparazzi bunch with flashes and shutters going “phush” and “click”. It was the green carpet of their halcyon days for Zoë and Hedgey.

  

Pictures of Zoë and Hedgey were included in Olivia’s homework. She told the story of Hedgey’s adventures in Zoë’s Elysian Fields. Hedgey’s journal of adventures now included a visit to Salazar Manor- the best kids' show on earth.

Displacement and the Shivers

This is one of my favorites...

Please be patient as this little movie loads. It's a 7.4 Mbs QuickTime Movie.

Nancy the Brave and Peanut the Wise

  

  

Nancy the Brave, or simply Nancy (a.k.a Nancy Curlwalker) and Peanut the Wise, or simply Peanut (a.k.a. Chubby Budgie Peanut) were Luis' first birds. They were a gift from a school mate of Luis' when he was in art school. Brenda needed to find a home for Nancy and Peanut after her cat had gotten to one of their cage mates. Luis accepted the critters with much joy. They lived with Luis and Fritz at Lehndorff 924 in Calgary in a two bedroom apartment on the eleventh floor. Nancy was the bravest little bird. She loved landing on Luis' curly hair and tactfully manage the terrain as would an astronaut on an alien planet. Peanut loved reading. He was very fat! So fat in fact that he could hardly lift himself off the floor when he should happen to fall upon it. He wasn't as comfortable around people as Nancy was but when his joie-de-millet had him grounded he would resign to stepping up and being helped up on to his perch.

Nancy died at the age of 8 of cancer. Peanut died of old age at 11.

Salazar Manor - Uh-hum, Kiwi's House

Hot dog! Do I have a treat for you. Luis just finished stitching an interactive panorama for me. Guess what it's of? No, not the Grande Canyon. Try: Salazar Manor. Yup- I have posted a panorama of our, uh-hum, my house. It's so cool it's better than bottle caps. You can view the Kiwi pleasure dome out in Millwoods in full 360 degrees. You can even see where Maguey used to live (she moved a while ago although she still visits Isidro's mom Reina and his sister Keren). Isn't it fabulous???

To make it work click on the movie window that opens up below, hold and then drag left and right. You can even zoom in to see detail (like the No Parking Sign) by clicking on the "minus" and "plus" buttons on the movie window. My room is right above the garage.

If you can't see the movie you may need the QUICKTIME plug-in found at the APPLE site: Download it Here fo MAC and Download it Here for Windows.

Hope you enjoy my little panorama.

Step-up!

"Kiwi-Kiwi!"

Ta-dumm! And now for a truly wicked experience. This is me saying my name.

Click on this link: "Kiwi-Kiwi!"

Isn't that cool??? Try teaching that to a stupido cat- ha!

Hiatus Finitus

I am back! That was a long break. Did you miss me? Oh, how I missed all this silly willy BLOGGER world.

I have some new surprises in store for you. Luis recently acquired some web space and has the opportunity to post some media files for me. This includes the sound file on my PROFILE
page of me saying, "Step up!". That's so awesome. I have more sound clips and some movies and panos and lots of other coolio stuff baby! I can't wait to share them with you. Visit this week for more as I return from my vacation.

World Turtle Day

Today is World Turtle Day. World Turtle Day began on May 23, 2000. It was initiated by the American Tortoise Rescue out of Malibu, California. They do all sorts of good things to aid the rescuing of displaced and unwanted tortoises and turtles in the U.S.A. My feathered hat goes off to all the good folks at the American Tortoise Rescue and to the kind and generous people everywhere who help all kinds of critters in need. You guys rock!

To celebrate this beautiful day I would like to introduce to everyone Zoë. Zoë is a Red Footed Tortoise. She was a wedding present from Dani to Luis. She has been living here since July of 2003- Just a few months before I appeared on the scene. I will go into more about Zoë later in another entry but for now here are some pictures of Zoë:

  

And of course it would not be World Turtle Day without some pictures of Texas:

  

Learn more about World Turlte Day by clicking on these links:

American Tortoise Rescue
The Humane Society of the U.S.A.

Quaker Craft: Poop on Tops

Dani invited Louie and I to her work this evening. She has been busy trying to catch up on all the work that has been piling up on her desk at Craft Line Counter Tops. I got to go because Louie can't live without me.

Dani put us quick to work. Louie got the easy job of filing away paperwork for Dani. Meanwhile I got the real tough job of shredding sensitive company documents. Fortunately, when you are a de bonne aire and handsome Quaker like moi you get the job done righ and speedy fast. I was done in, I'd say under twenty. It would have taken the average canary several hours (just to show you how quick I really am). Then I hung about the place. I got bored fast. I squawked and flew about the office a bit. Oh, and I made stinkies partout! First on Louie's shoulder, then on the carpet, then on the desk, then on a file folder, finally on Louie's pants. Well it's all his fault really. He let me bite into his Big Mac after all. Man that stuff is yummy but sure gives me the yuckies.

Dani is a hard worker. Louie is lucky to have a hard working momma at his side. I think she is a good chick. Although I enjoy chomping on her, my feathered hat goes off to her. This is for you Dani:

Lang Loy, Jo San!

Lang Loy, Jo San!

Good morning to all the lang loys at Bulwark Protective Apparel. Luis says that I have some friends reading my stories at work and these pictures are all for you. Thank you for stopping by and do write me a note if you have a moment.

“Kiwi, Kiwi..”

  
  

Kamikaze Cockatiel

Kamikaze (`kâmu'kâzee) :
[n] (Japanese) a fighter plane used for suicide missions by Japanese pilots in World War II
[n] (Japanese) a pilot trained and willing to cause a suicidal crash

Cockatiel (kŏk'ə-tēl'):
[n] A small crested Australian parrot (Nymphicus hollandicus) having gray and yellow plumage.
[Dutch: kaketielje (little cockatoo), ultimately from Malay: kakatua, cockatoo.]

--------------------------------------*--------------------------------------

"Twack!"

That's what Randal heard at his window one evening in October of 2004. He was hard at work preparing a presentaion for a client when from off to the side came a sharp crunching sound. I guess it sounded like a cross between a woopie cushion and a bag of popcorn going crunch. Jumping out of his skin, Randal rushed over to the window to discover a small grey bird sitting there looking straight at him. It doesn't take much to move a sensitive nature lover like Randal to reach out and pull the cold critter in from the cold. He must have been real thirsty because the following day EPCOR (the utilities company) called Randal to ask if he had burst a water line. No sooner had he dropped the receiver that a detective knocked at his door and plainly asked Randal if he were operating a hydroponics grow-op. Randal responded plainly in return saying, "No, I had a very thirsty visitor drop in unexpectedly yesterday."

"Was it a parrot," asked the officer.
"I don't know," said Randal. "I think it looks more like a little grey fairy." The officer gave Randal a quizzical look as if to say, "maybe it's the Easter bunny, my good sir," and then politely excused himself and wished Randal all the best luck now that he had been chosen by the Grovenor Communitiy Fairies. But what for???

Randal gave Luis a call and asked for his opinion on the critter. Giving a short description that sounded like this: small bird, grey, with orange-red cheeks, small feet, and sounding much like a cell phone. As you can imagine Luis pulled the receiver from his ear glared at it quizzically as if to say, "maybe it's Graham Bell, my good sir." But of course he didn't say that. Instead he replied, "sounds like you have made friends with a cockatiel."

"Oh," Randal replied. "So is that a parrot of some kind."
"Well," Luis said. "It's more like an Australian good luck fairy."
"I knew it!"
"Are you going to keep it?"
"Yes," said Randal. "I think it's a good luck charm and he chose me so I'll keep it. I need to think of a name first. Can I come by Tiffany's and pick up some food?"
"Sure. I'll be there tomorrow,' Luis assured him.

  

Sure enough- Randal fell in love with the critter and the man from down under was well in control of Randal's large office environment where he lived. He roamed about the place flying freely and chatting up a storm. Luis went to visit and guess what? Hot dog! The dude sounded just like a cell phone. He was so good in fact, that Randal would sometimes be fooled. He'd hear the ring tone and off shot Randal to his coat pocket, flipped open the receiver, said hello, only to hear the phone line echo back - BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Ha! That's funny.

Randal gave the dude a Fairy name: Clarity. Fine, then.

Clarity lived at Randal's for about six months. Then one day Luis got a call:

"Luis, I need to find a home for Clarity. I love the bird but he is not good for business. My new intern thinks that having poop all over the office looks bad. I agree and would like to maybe sell him and find him a good home. Know anybody who might want a cockatiel?"

Luis jumped at the chance to take in another bird. Of course he wasn't going to pay for a rescued bird. Randal was a little disappointed about giving him away but Luis managed to talk him into handing Clarity over for free. Dani accompanied Luis to Randal's the night of the pick-up. Clarity was hard to catch. Even though Clarity is tame enough for sitting on your finger and shoulder he has a deadly fear of hands reaching out to grab him. He's not too fast for Luis and a towel though, I can assure you of that. Into a box he went.

On the drive home Dani insisted on changing his name. She didn't approve of Clarity and Luis was o.k. with renaming the little Aussie. "How about Clarence," Dani asked. "From that Beastie Boys song - Shake Your Rump."

"That's perfect. I don't mind that at all."

So, there you have it. Clarence came home to join us here at Salazar Manor. He talks plenty. He is the easiest going little dude and the biggest suck for atttention. His favorite things to do are sit on your shoulder and beg for attention, stare off wistfully out windows, and say "pretty bird" to his own reflection. He is a big fan of Henry Miller's portrait. Luis is certain that Clarence flings poop down at him from atop the bookshelves. Sometimes stuff will fall off onto Luis' desk and when Luis looks up there is Clarence looking down as if to say, "did you get my message, or what?" Then he swoops down and lands on Luis' other shoulder and nibbles at his ear.

Crazy bird.

Randal has a web site. Visit Randal at:
http://www.visionimages.ca